Compassion really is an open…loving…unconditional curiosity about lifes appearances. Compassion is an innocence…a realisation of our inherent not knowing anything definitively. We can all have our ideas…perspectives and judgements from conditioned minds but nobody REALLY knows anything about the meaning of this great mystery; why things happen the way they happen; why people do the things they do.
Compassion enables us to be more open and flexible….it gives us room to learn more about ourselves…life and others….to then grow and evolve in wisdom and maturity. If we don’t cultivate a curiosity, a loving curiosity about appearances then we stay stuck in the old familiar/familial conditioned stimulus/reaction patterns.
Compassion is the loving curiosity that asks attentively within “I wonder why he says those things to me?”…or “I wonder why I always say those things when I feel that way?”..or ‘I wonder why I feel so afraid and guarded around him?”.it is an entirely different way of experiencing life…it is allowing innocent not knowing to create a space for a change in persective… instead of the usual angry rhetorical inner questioning of “Why does this always happen to me?”…”Why does he always make me feel bad about myself?”..you know what I mean…the accusitory tone that further reinforces the current ways of being…the current ‘stuck’ perspective.
When we cultivate a compassionate curiosity when we genuinely want to understand ourselves or others who may have hurt us then the answers will make their way in to our consciousness. When we have a genuine desire to understand so that we may expand our consciousness and glean the wisdom that will enable us to move forward in life; understanding will come.
It involves becoming quieter…creating a space between the usual stimulus/reaction loop – he said…she said…etc….or here we go again this always happens when….or whatever your particular triggers may be. It maybe that a brother or sister or friend or parent seems to make you feel angry or hostile or maybe you seem to make them angry or hostile….next time instead of just barricading yourself in awaiting the usual onslaught (which is only ever a reaction in our own mind – which then perpetuates the existing dynamic)) try cultivating compassionate curiosity…a ‘space of ‘not knowing’ anything…let the thoughts do their habitual thing but really stay present…just notice the subtleties and nuances in the conversation and in your body…notice if you tighten up in any areas…and if you do… stay curious…open and unconditionally present (compassionate) i.e be willing to bring a clear space with no preconceived ideas from the past…be willing to not already know anything about the other person or yourself.
Then if you feel tightness or discomfort in the body or you sense unease in the other…you can remain curious and open (compassionate) and ask yourself (quietly inside)…I wonder why I feel this or that feeling or sensation etc…then let the questions go…the answers will come when the time is right….compassion does not demand answers NOW!…these are psychological patterns and habits of lifetimes…they may take a while to be seen through.
We are the creators of every experience…albeit at the subconscious level of Being…:let’s bring those shadows into the light with love …understanding and compassion.
You see EVERY situation that occurs in life is teaching you about you…life is always for you…for your growth and evolution…..as you begin to cultivate a compassionate curiosity about why things are happening the way they are – instead of simply reacting in old resistant ways you begin to create space for new perceptions and perspectives to emerge….you create space to begin to perceive life through a clearer lens…you create space so that the wisdom that life is trying to teach you through the experience can be gleaned with less suffering.
Pic – courtesy of Pixabay.com